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Lesson: Husbands and Wives in Christ

     When Paul wrote to the Ephesians, He understood that the church was full of people from many different cultures. Some people read this and say that God really put women in their place. When in fact God really put both men and women in their places.

     He really starts his lesson in verse 18 when he starts talking about people talking to each other in the Spirit by speaking psalms and hymns and spiritual songs from your heart. God uses the same format in Colossians 3:12-22. God says that "out of your heart your mouth speaks". If your heart is filled with the world, hate, anger, abuse then that is what is going to come out of your mouth. If your heart is filled with Christ then supernatural (Agapao or God filled love) will come out of your mouth. So before a husband and a wife talk they should put the Spirit of God in the middle of the conversation. Which means that all conversations should start with love.

     Notice in the verses below that Jesus keeps comparing the husband and family to Christ and the church. The examples of Christ giving Himself for the church are endless. These examples set a very high standard for husbands to meet. Christ gave up heaven to come to earth to help people that didn't even love him. He went to the cross to win a victory for us, not for himself. Christ did not need to be saved. We did! Christ could have stayed in heaven and done something else, but our need was more important. Husbands should put their families first, above anything else they want to do. Husbands should be the living sacrifice of each family. The all in compassing example of unconditional love, that the world needs to see. That's why many families are in such a mess, because the husbands have not laid their lives down in love for their families (as a church). They have not put their families above all other things. If more husbands would do their part more wives would do their part, and honor their husbands. Because then the husbands would deserve the honor.

Ephesians 5: 21-33
21. submitting to one another in the fear of God
22. Wives, submit to your husbands, as to the Lord.
23. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body.(and died for us putting our benefit and future over His own comfort)
24. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.
25. Husbands, (Agapao or God filled love) love your wives, just as Christ also loved (Agapao or God filled love) the church and gave himself for her,
26. that he might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word,
27. that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish.
28. So husbands ought to love (Agapao or God filled love) their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves (Agapao or God filled love) himself.
29. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church.
30. For we are members of His body, of His flesh and His bones.
31. "For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh."
32. This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church.
33. Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love (Agapao or God filled love) his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
(also Gen. 2: 22-24, Matt. 19: 4-6)

You may also wish to read one of the other lessons
"Agape love: the opposite of sin"

Notes from the author: This lesson was written and distributed by: Apple Sauce Kids on the Internet at or we can be E-mailed at
     Please feel free to use this lesson: copy, teach, translate into other languages, place on the Internet and electronic Bulletin Boards, and distribute for non profit personal ministry reasons, as often as you wish. Yes, you can copy this lesson and use it on your web site, but please leave these "Notes from the author" with the lesson. Freely you have received this lesson, and freely you should give it to someone else.    (written 1/1/97, revised 6/26/02)